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Every legend, moreover, contains its residuum of truth, and the root function of language is to control the universe by describing it.

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I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead.
I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.





From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Thankyou for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear David,
You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you?

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Yes please.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Attached <spider.gif>





From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Whose spider is that?

Dear Jane,
Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David,
Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th.
David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95.
Please make this payment as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Automated Out of Office Response

Thankyou for contacting me.
I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.

Regards, David.



From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.

Regards, David.





From: Jane Gilles
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David,
As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lei of money for accounts outstanding.
We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

I understand and will definitely make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Attached <spider2.gif>

— 1 day ago with 3 notes
We did face painting with my eyeshadow lol.

We did face painting with my eyeshadow lol.

— 1 day ago
Today&#8217;s artwork. So many French moms tried to hire me today lol.

Today’s artwork. So many French moms tried to hire me today lol.

— 1 day ago
Breakfast at 2pm.

Breakfast at 2pm.

— 1 day ago
Hanging out with the kids today. Debating whether or not I should bring my DS for sean.

Hanging out with the kids today. Debating whether or not I should bring my DS for sean.

— 1 day ago
buriedrumors:


spazzingforperfection:

joellamarano:

sleepnowdreamforever:

justanotherprettylie:

lolquack:

n00bert:

smithsisdead:

Asleep by The Smiths

Body In A Box- City And Colour!!!!!!

Gone to soon - Michael Jackson. Or. Slipped away - Avril LavigneErm..yup.

Wannabe - Spice Girls. I don’t want people to be sad at my funeral

See You In Hell - Aiden

So Happy I Could Die- Lady Gaga

Fix You-Coldplay

Exit Music (For A Film)-Radiohead








Gimme shelter- the rolling stones

or

cocaine- Eric clapton

buriedrumors:

spazzingforperfection:

joellamarano:

sleepnowdreamforever:

justanotherprettylie:

lolquack:

n00bert:

smithsisdead:

Asleep by The Smiths

Body In A Box- City And Colour!!!!!!

Gone to soon - Michael Jackson. Or. Slipped away - Avril Lavigne
Erm..yup.

Wannabe - Spice Girls. I don’t want people to be sad at my funeral

See You In Hell - Aiden

So Happy I Could Die- Lady Gaga

Fix You-Coldplay

Exit Music (For A Film)-Radiohead

Gimme shelter- the rolling stones or cocaine- Eric clapton
— 2 days ago with 144 notes
kellencorkill:

THIS LOOKS PROMISING




That can&#8217;t be right&#8230;&#8221;number one&#8221; Chinese restaurant is on Bedford avenue in Brooklyn. -_-

kellencorkill:

THIS LOOKS PROMISING

That can’t be right…”number one” Chinese restaurant is on Bedford avenue in Brooklyn. -_-
— 2 days ago with 2 notes
Taco Night

I have a new appreciation for my taco making skills. There is no sour cream in France. Just “creme fraiche”

— 2 days ago